#02: STOP STARING AT ME! 🫣
The Spotlight Effect
The worst is over.
Ho-ly fucking-shit.
And by “the worst”, I’m talking about sending out my first email newsletter to a small group of friends.
My Grandparents survived the Holocaust.
My Dad had to share a bed with his two brothers because they were so poor.
Me? I sent out an email.
When I think about it…it’s hard not to feel a bit pathetic. I’m not trying to put myself down, but the guy blasting Hip Hop beats in the car while fantasizing about single-handedly winning the war in Ukraine is not the same guy writing this email.
A fucking email.
When I clicked the “send” button — It felt great.
Like the time I was on a vacation…just gazing at the Ocean.
An email. That was it.
What was I so scared of?
The truth: I was scared of what people would think.
The Universal truth: Everyone is thinking about what other people are thinking about them.
The truth and nothing but the truth, so help me G-d:
NO ONE IS SPENDING TIME THINKING OF YOU!
They’re thinking of ME.
👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
But, seriously.
There’s a name for this, it’s called the Spotlight Effect.
The Spotlight Effect
This is a common psychological phenomenon where we overestimate the degree to which other people are noticing or observing our actions, behaviours and appearance. In other words, we tend to think there is a spotlight on us at all times, highlighting all of our mistakes or flaws, for all the world to see.
Bottom Line: We think everyone is paying very close attention to us, our actions, our social posts or what we say/do at a party. They aren’t.
This phenomenon reminds of the song by Carly Simon “You’re so Vain”.
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
I like my brother’s version better:
You're so vain
You probably think you have a big penis
Clever, no?
Anyways.
My prediction:
You finish reading this email.
You go back to thinking about yourself, cause your normal.
You ask yourself, how do I get a Jonny Goldmaker poster for my bedroom?
If you want to:
Promote yourself or your business online.
Put your creativity (Art, Humour etc..) out there.
Express yourself in anyway.
DO IT!
No one else gives a shit 💩.
For me, this newsletter is my start. But I have no idea where it’s going.
I’m flying blind.
Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.
—Frank Drebin, Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult
One step at a time.
Thanks,
Jonny G.